Freedom From The Mundane - A Writer's Blog

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

War Of The Window Cleaners

This morning, my otherwise normal routine was stained by the unpleasant nature of some Edinburgh's residents. I shall explain.

I returned home from my holiday in July to find the fence surrounding my rear garden had been broken. Assuming it had been kids playing I left it and got out my hammer, nails and spare wood to patch it up. Later, I discovered that the lady above us has a window cleaner, and it was he who had wrecked the fence while attempting to jump into our garden with his ladder to get to her windows. A neighbour had seen him and it was her told me this.

And so I have bided my time for several weeks, waiting to catch the windown cleaner for a quite word and get the name of the company he works for vith a view to writingto them and expressingmy displeasure. As I left the house this morning, the window cleaner had planted his ladder in my garden to get to the windows of the flat above......

"Excuse me mate, who is it you work for?" I asked in a serious yet unthreatening voice.

"Dinnae work for anyone," he slurred.

"Well who do you do the windows for?"

"Guy next door. Why?"

"Oh right. So when you broke my fence a few weeks ago didn't you think it would be better to let me know?"

"You saying I broke yer f*****g fence ya p***k?"

"Eh - well a neighbour saw the window cleaner do it. So if it wasn't you then who else does these windows?"

"Naebody else does the f******g windows aw right?"

By now his language and attitude were starting to annoy me.

"All i'm saying is, it would have been nice for you to let us know that you broke the fence instead of just leaving it the way it was."

"Away and f**k yersel' ya w**k!!"

This last comment was accompanied by a masturbatory hand signal aimed in my direction.

Nice, I'm sure you will agree. The unenlightened in this country seem to think they have the right to do as they please. If it was up to me, he would be packed off to do some National Service instead of claming unemployment benefits while washing people's windows. Oh - I neglected to mention I looked him up didn't I.

No doubt this episode will land itself a place in one of my stories, and when it does, I expect it will fire an anger within me that was only too evident as I arrived at work this morning. Which was very busy today for a change - things seem to be going that way since rumours of us finally being bought out are rife in all quarters. Franky, I couldn't give a damn. Who in their right mind would want to!

I never got anything done in the way of writing and I am pissed off about that as well. Tomorrow is another day yes - but I wish I had today again.

Colin 10:05 pm


There's a slight difference in accent, but I'd say that window-washer sure sounds a lot like some of the folks here in Chicago :).

Please, please put this in a story. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but just look at new character you have.


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