Wednesday, November 24, 2004
Will Sucking Magnets
Yet again I start my Blog with an exhausted mind and uncoordinated hands. For last night, the third in series, I could not sleep again. The problem is now compacted because Gail is sleeping light and broken, meaning she tosses and turns constantly. I resorted to the radio by my bed but there was nothing relaxing on – who the hell listens to rap on a Tuesday night at 1am anyway?
The result of this lack of sleep is that the small irritancies at work now appear huge in my mind. All the wee snidey comments made by people are magnified and I want to burst the plaster of the fake wall with their faces. Either that or just get up and leave. I can’t stand it. I know I will be able to let it slide when -- as I write, the fire alarm just went off for the weekly test, piercing my ear drums with a mind splitting screech, for my own safety and comfort in this place that we like to call a home from home—where was I? That’s right – I know I will be able to let it slide when I am not so tired, but listening all these mind-numbing tasks and boring conversations about Microsoft’s latest angle on e-Commerce strategy seem to be irritating me more these last few days. I know, that given a damn good sleep, I will be able to ignore it once more.
Each day it becomes more apparent (this is a new subject so stay with me – I know I’m on a rant – don’t need told) – I walk to work after having a nice coffee. Even if the weather is poor, there is still enjoyment to be had from the freedom of mind of being “out” in the open. It’s nice – I enjoy it – it inspires me.
Then, almost comparable to the flicking of a light switch, as soon as I walk in the door of this office, my life is sucked into its irrelevant oblivion. All creativity and freethinking disappears in a puff. You can actually feel it leave the physical.
It’s as if there is a giant magnet around the door that sucks the soul out of you as you walk in and traps you in a huge field of anti-free-thought -electro-magneticism.
At lunchtime I go and get a sandwich or soup (or both when I’m feeling reckless), and things pop into my mind – prose, poems, characters, plots! Then I return with my lunch and it’s gone again - suppressed by the magnetic forces of evil. As soon as the day is over, and the doors are behind me, I feel fine again. No stress, free, inspired to be creative.
This is why I find it hard to write during the day, struggle for hours with a column or review or issue of HJ. No problems when I get out though, no siree. But in here? It’s a cauldron of deceit and greed and restrictive horribleness (is that a word?).
I did get some stuff done though. AM I worked through a press release for a friend and gave some advice where I could, albeit limited. She seemed pleased with it and I hope it helps her promote her stories because she really deserves a whole load of success. I was just glad I could offer my help.
Afternoon I wrote a full copy of my website column, changed it about, added info to it – it still needs work but it’s getting there. It’s a relaxed, easy style so it should be easy to follow.
Evening – went for a beer and beat old Ian again. 6-2. Our usual table was not available due to a function so they had us in the Executive Suite; plush table, private loo and television, comfy couches and a chord to get the bar staff to come through with another round. Bliss!
The result of this lack of sleep is that the small irritancies at work now appear huge in my mind. All the wee snidey comments made by people are magnified and I want to burst the plaster of the fake wall with their faces. Either that or just get up and leave. I can’t stand it. I know I will be able to let it slide when -- as I write, the fire alarm just went off for the weekly test, piercing my ear drums with a mind splitting screech, for my own safety and comfort in this place that we like to call a home from home—where was I? That’s right – I know I will be able to let it slide when I am not so tired, but listening all these mind-numbing tasks and boring conversations about Microsoft’s latest angle on e-Commerce strategy seem to be irritating me more these last few days. I know, that given a damn good sleep, I will be able to ignore it once more.
Each day it becomes more apparent (this is a new subject so stay with me – I know I’m on a rant – don’t need told) – I walk to work after having a nice coffee. Even if the weather is poor, there is still enjoyment to be had from the freedom of mind of being “out” in the open. It’s nice – I enjoy it – it inspires me.
Then, almost comparable to the flicking of a light switch, as soon as I walk in the door of this office, my life is sucked into its irrelevant oblivion. All creativity and freethinking disappears in a puff. You can actually feel it leave the physical.
It’s as if there is a giant magnet around the door that sucks the soul out of you as you walk in and traps you in a huge field of anti-free-thought -electro-magneticism.
At lunchtime I go and get a sandwich or soup (or both when I’m feeling reckless), and things pop into my mind – prose, poems, characters, plots! Then I return with my lunch and it’s gone again - suppressed by the magnetic forces of evil. As soon as the day is over, and the doors are behind me, I feel fine again. No stress, free, inspired to be creative.
This is why I find it hard to write during the day, struggle for hours with a column or review or issue of HJ. No problems when I get out though, no siree. But in here? It’s a cauldron of deceit and greed and restrictive horribleness (is that a word?).
I did get some stuff done though. AM I worked through a press release for a friend and gave some advice where I could, albeit limited. She seemed pleased with it and I hope it helps her promote her stories because she really deserves a whole load of success. I was just glad I could offer my help.
Afternoon I wrote a full copy of my website column, changed it about, added info to it – it still needs work but it’s getting there. It’s a relaxed, easy style so it should be easy to follow.
Evening – went for a beer and beat old Ian again. 6-2. Our usual table was not available due to a function so they had us in the Executive Suite; plush table, private loo and television, comfy couches and a chord to get the bar staff to come through with another round. Bliss!
Colin 10:54 pm
1 Comments:
Try eating a banana shortly before you go to bed. It has a chemical in it that promotes sleep, so I'm told.
Goodnight!
Regards,
Bob.
Goodnight!
Regards,
Bob.
