Freedom From The Mundane - A Writer's Blog

Friday, January 26, 2007

Toilet Trauma

Congratulations to my mate Dave and his wife Isla, who have just added another wee baby to their ever-expanding clan. Wee Zoe, the third (and I think final) girl was born yesterday afternoon. A wee sister to Molly and Lilly, I'm sure Dave is going to relish living in a house with FOUR females. I just hope they don't all choose to get married in the same year!

I slept like a log last night. I got 10 hours and felt like I could have gone on for another 10. Felt much better though; I had more energy, open eyes and a brain that wasn't running on pulse battery power.

Lesson learnt.

A funny incident happened today at the day job. I went to the loo just after lunch and walked into one of the cubicles (there are only two). I sat down on the throne to take care of business and luckily, at the last minute, noticed there was no toilet paper.

I hoisted up the tweeds and went into the other cubicle, sat down and began my evacuation once more. Just then I heard one of the old guys in my office enter the room - I knew it was him by his coughing. He went into the cubicle I had just vacated, and proceeded to beging with his own business.

I sat stifling my laughter at the knowledge he was about to get to the point where he would be stuck with no loo paper and have no means of getting any.

Seconds passed. Minutes passed. "Oh, for fuck's sake!"

When my laughter subsided I agreed to pass some paper under the partition. It was then the horror of the situation hit me. There was no paper in my own cubicle either. Laughter changed to embarrassed tears as we both sat waiting for someone to come into the room, who would be able to pass us new rolls under the cubicle doors.

Needless to say, nothing was said about it this when we got back to the office.

I'm posting today's entry early because I'm going away for the weekend. My home city of Glasgow awaits my company for the second weekend in a row. It's my bro's birthday, and to ensure a full turnout from the entire Squadron, we are having the celebration in Glasgow instead of South Shields where he now lives and works.

I leave this afternoon and won't return until Sunday, so no posts.

Stay cool, and don't forget to buy a copy of the Sunday Herald this weekend for my exclusive interview (barring any last minute delays again)!!

is out on
MARCH 2nd 2007

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Only £5 plus p&p

Colin 3:00 pm


Oh My Gosh! I'm about to pee my pants right here! Too funny.

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