Monday, January 10, 2005
Tears Of A Clown
I’m rather annoyed today.
On Friday night as you know I cooked a stunning meal for no apparent reason other than because I thought it would be nice for my wife and her pal. It was nothing fancy, but it was made with good intentions. As I always do, I welcome Gail’s friends and family into the house, try to make them feel at ease and do my best to keep their drinks topped – as a good host should do.
Yet, for the third time now, this same friend has come away afterwards and told my wife that I am a “big grump” and we have subsequently “shared words” over this accusation later.
Maybe I am a grump. I am the first to admit that if you catch me at the right time, then yes – I can be a right grumpy bastard. I am an early-thirty-something male who has his off days particularly when I am tired or when I get exposed to too many TV adverts, reality television or boy-girl bands.
Who doesn’t have their grumpy days? The point is – I wasn’t on Friday night. I was cheery and had a laugh, cooked a meal and had some wine.
Bear in mind that I had been up at 6am, got Laura sorted for school and made her lunch, got into work for before 8am and sat in a stifling heat doing nothing I consider to be worthwhile – grinning and bearing it – returned home to cook dinner then wash and tidy up – BEFORE I even had a moment to myself! And then to be accused of being a grump is, to me, nothing short of a piss-take.
So I am very annoyed by this slur on my name, and I am annoyed at the pressure it places on me to act nice to this person who has now, I feel, stepped over a mark. The next time they visit I will act, as I always do, warm and welcoming and I will continue to cook meals for them. But I am left thinking she is going to blast me after every visit – which is not fair.
Another reason this annoys me is that very often I am accused of being “too much the clown”. In other words when there is a party, I like to show off and have a laugh. I like laughing, and I like making people laugh. I like doing stupid things and I like showing my bum off in public when I wear my kilt. And why not? I have a peachy bum, certainly nothing I should be ashamed off.
But the paradox is people expect me to behave like that every time they see me. If I am too tired to be the “clown” I don’t perform well and people then think I am grumpy. So I get lambasted either way.
A song by Smokey Robinson springs to mind. :-)
I dreamt of old friendships last night – people I have not seen for years who have drifted away either intentionally or unintentionally. It was brought on by the thought of meeting a couple of old friends (and I use the term loosely) this weekend at a friends Stag I am going to in Newcastle. More on that later.
I edited issues 39 to 41 in-between ‘real’ work and in the evening wrote issue 42 – Jackie arriving in Edinburgh and seeing the Castle for the first time. It feels good to have him here, in fact it’s almost like he’s lived my life in a way – geographically that is. I started off in Glasgow and moved through to Edinburgh when I started work here, so it was easy to write about the city when you arrive in it for the first time. Writing about Glasgow was like being back and it only makes me miss the Dear Green Place even more.
On Friday night as you know I cooked a stunning meal for no apparent reason other than because I thought it would be nice for my wife and her pal. It was nothing fancy, but it was made with good intentions. As I always do, I welcome Gail’s friends and family into the house, try to make them feel at ease and do my best to keep their drinks topped – as a good host should do.
Yet, for the third time now, this same friend has come away afterwards and told my wife that I am a “big grump” and we have subsequently “shared words” over this accusation later.
Maybe I am a grump. I am the first to admit that if you catch me at the right time, then yes – I can be a right grumpy bastard. I am an early-thirty-something male who has his off days particularly when I am tired or when I get exposed to too many TV adverts, reality television or boy-girl bands.
Who doesn’t have their grumpy days? The point is – I wasn’t on Friday night. I was cheery and had a laugh, cooked a meal and had some wine.
Bear in mind that I had been up at 6am, got Laura sorted for school and made her lunch, got into work for before 8am and sat in a stifling heat doing nothing I consider to be worthwhile – grinning and bearing it – returned home to cook dinner then wash and tidy up – BEFORE I even had a moment to myself! And then to be accused of being a grump is, to me, nothing short of a piss-take.
So I am very annoyed by this slur on my name, and I am annoyed at the pressure it places on me to act nice to this person who has now, I feel, stepped over a mark. The next time they visit I will act, as I always do, warm and welcoming and I will continue to cook meals for them. But I am left thinking she is going to blast me after every visit – which is not fair.
Another reason this annoys me is that very often I am accused of being “too much the clown”. In other words when there is a party, I like to show off and have a laugh. I like laughing, and I like making people laugh. I like doing stupid things and I like showing my bum off in public when I wear my kilt. And why not? I have a peachy bum, certainly nothing I should be ashamed off.
But the paradox is people expect me to behave like that every time they see me. If I am too tired to be the “clown” I don’t perform well and people then think I am grumpy. So I get lambasted either way.
A song by Smokey Robinson springs to mind. :-)
I dreamt of old friendships last night – people I have not seen for years who have drifted away either intentionally or unintentionally. It was brought on by the thought of meeting a couple of old friends (and I use the term loosely) this weekend at a friends Stag I am going to in Newcastle. More on that later.
I edited issues 39 to 41 in-between ‘real’ work and in the evening wrote issue 42 – Jackie arriving in Edinburgh and seeing the Castle for the first time. It feels good to have him here, in fact it’s almost like he’s lived my life in a way – geographically that is. I started off in Glasgow and moved through to Edinburgh when I started work here, so it was easy to write about the city when you arrive in it for the first time. Writing about Glasgow was like being back and it only makes me miss the Dear Green Place even more.
Colin 9:56 pm
3 Comments:
Cheer up you grumpy bastard, at least you have reached over half way on your word metre!:)
It's YOUR home Colin and you are entitled to be a grump anytime you wish. Perhaps Gail needs to meet her friend at a restaurant since she cannot tolerate your presence.
Brenda
Brenda
Next time, bake her some brownies for dessert--laced with EX LAX. Sounds like her friend needs a good enema anyway...to dislodge that enormous CORN COB she has shoved up her A$$!!!
whew, now *I* sound grumpy! :-)
whew, now *I* sound grumpy! :-)