Tuesday, August 16, 2005
A New Look to The Fringe
It's been a funny, hectic, emotional and brilliant two years, and I wouldn't swap them for the world. I knew she was the one when went out drinking one day in December 2000, and ever since then nothing has been allowed to get in the way. We'll die old and decrepit; I'll probably be lucky to get a boner and dribble my dinner each night, while the highlight of our week will probably be the trips to the Bingo Hall with the blue-rinse brigade. But I don't care; so long as we're together I'm fine with that.
I watched the clock all morning and it dragged. I decided the best time to call Specsavers would be at 11.30pm and when the clock on my PC struck the time I called them up. The response was swift and exciting; my glasses were ready for collection.
I jumped on a No.4 bus at York Place, where by the way, The Stand Comedy Club is doing special Fringe lunchtime shows for free and you can buy a nice lunch while watching the acts. The No.4 took me out to The Jewel and I made a beeline for Specsavers.
The woman found my package, took me over to a desk and sat me down. I removed my contact lenses to a huge sigh of relief and I placed my new glasses on for the first time. It felt brilliant, ecstatic even, and I couldn't stop myself emitting a low orgasmic groan as I uttered the words, "Oh yes!" while looking in the mirror. She let out an embarrassed laugh, unsure whether I was just pleased with my new glasses or if I had just ejaculated where I was sitting.
I thanked her and trooped proudly out of the shop. A bus that would take me back to the city centre was just pulling in to the station and as I went to step on it I realised I wasn't quite adjusted to the 'movement' of the ground as I walked. I put out my right leg to try and step on the bus, hesitated over the confusing distance, and missed the step entirely.
I went from feeling great to knowing I was just another twat with new specs.
I left work early and headed home to get ready for my night out with my wife. We arrived at the Assembly Rooms Bar; more of an underground street next to the main entrance that runs between George Street and Rose Street. I ordered a couple of drinks and we took a seat to soak up the atmosphere. It wasn't as busy as a weekend show but the buzz from the pub's population was still evident; the buzz that only live comedy can give you.
Inside the ballroom of the Assembly Rooms a stage and temporary seating had been constructed for around 200 people. Craig Hill came on just after 7.30 with his trademark black leather kilt and tight-fitting t-shirt, camp as hell and jigging all over the stage.
He immediately latched onto the three old ladies in the front row, bombarding them with blue-rinse jokes and grannies-wanting-to-mother-a-poof material. Then he moved onto the girl sitting next to them with her fiance and started up an impromptu game designed to guess whether she was upgrading or downgrading her life as a result of her impending marriage.
Some hecklers threatened to ruin parts of the show but were suitably disposed of professionally, humorously and with a hint of annoyance.
It was a superbly funny show as he rattled off gay joke after gay joke and by the end of it you actually felt as if you were as much a part of gay culture as he is. I'd definitely recommend him for a good night out. His comedy, show that is; nothing else.
Craig Hill's Got The Ballroom - Edinburgh Fringe 2005
With about 45 minutes until our dinner reservation we stopped in at Brecks Bar on Rose Street for a swifty before heading into The Living Room on George Street. The Living Room
The lights were dim and the candlelit tables made for a romantic and relaxing evening. In the far corner the live piano player entertained us with various tunes as we enjoyed a fantastic meal.
The menu was a nightmare to choose form it all looked so good, but we went for Mussels of the day and Fresh asparagus with crushed tomatoes & saffron butter to start. Then for the main course Gail had and 8oz fillet steak with mash and I went for the Roasted rack of lamb with mustard crust & dauphinoise potatoes. All of it washed down with a lovely bottle of Chianti Castiglioni, Marchesi De' Frescobaldi 2003, which cost almost as much as the meal itself.
Back up the road and a cup of coffee and that was us - our second anniversary. Year 3 begins tomorrow.
It sounds like a wonderful evening.
I'm glad you had a lovely night together.
Glad you and Gail enjoyed your night.