Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Hero of the Year
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM!!!
My dear old Mother celebrates another birthday today. It used to be that as I grew older, she would always say to me how old it made her feel. When I turned 20 she said it, and when I turned 30 she meant it. The tables are turned now, because as my darling Mother charges towards retirement, and my 7 year old daughter tells me she knows what a “willy” is, I realise it is ME who is getting old and I just never noticed.
A Close Shave
I’ve not shaved for a week. This goes for my head as well as my face. It is pure laziness that I have not kept myself trim, even though I know when I leave it too long between shaves like this, it stings like hell when I take a razor across my skull. So be it. It’s just been on of those weeks where I feel even less like making an effort to be respectable in work. I like getting dressed smart when the occasion merits, but I don’t see why I should do up my tie or be clean-shaved just to fit in to the Corporate Thing. We don’t even need to where suits in my job. We are so far removed from the customer I could literally sit in here in my thong (oh – let’s not go there again) – in a Bat Man outfit and it still would not reflect badly on The Company. Let’s face it, the Board do a better job of making idiots of themselves without me joining in.
I made good progress with The Oasis redraft and rework of Bill McCarthy, but it was all I could manage due to the workload I have on. Only today and tomorrow remain to get this lot finished then it will be relative peace.
Laura is going to go to her Gran’s next Monday and Wednesday, which means I should be able to get two full writing days as God intended. I intend to make the best of them and make a significant impact into my GDR.
Hero Of The Year
I was talking to my mate Ian over e-mail today. He lives through in Glasgow with his girlfriend and two dogs and is a thoroughly nice chap. Which is why when he told me the following story I couldn’t stop laughing.
He had a run in with a local Ned (non-educated delinquent) recently, and to quote his words:
“I’m sick to the back teeth of Burberry and Neds. I just want to get a gun and shoot every single Buckie-toting skag bucket littering the pavement. I caught some junkie breaking into a car on the street last month and chased him through the park before 'restraining' him.
“When I jumped on him, he pulled out a screwdriver and threatened to stab me. But I was more mad 'cos I'd got my new jeans dirty so I just lamped him. First time I've ever hit anyone in my life. He kept saying he was – to use his own words - 'jangling fae a hit' (trans. Badly requires an intake of class ‘A’ drugs).
“Do you know the worst thing? I was chasing him and then wrestling with him at 2pm on a sunny Sunday, the park was packed, and not one person came to help. Everyone looked the other way, even when I was asking for assistance. When the Cops arrived they said I should have 'restrained' him a bit more and claimed self-defence. It goes to court next month but what's the betting he gets a fine and let off?
“Another thing that made me slightly mad was that I got radio back and the cops returned it to the woman who’s car it belonged to. She lives two doors up from me, and knows it was me who got it back, yet she's never been round to say thanks! Some folk don't deserve us super heroes...”
I had to laugh – but congratulated him at the same time.
My dear old Mother celebrates another birthday today. It used to be that as I grew older, she would always say to me how old it made her feel. When I turned 20 she said it, and when I turned 30 she meant it. The tables are turned now, because as my darling Mother charges towards retirement, and my 7 year old daughter tells me she knows what a “willy” is, I realise it is ME who is getting old and I just never noticed.
A Close Shave
I’ve not shaved for a week. This goes for my head as well as my face. It is pure laziness that I have not kept myself trim, even though I know when I leave it too long between shaves like this, it stings like hell when I take a razor across my skull. So be it. It’s just been on of those weeks where I feel even less like making an effort to be respectable in work. I like getting dressed smart when the occasion merits, but I don’t see why I should do up my tie or be clean-shaved just to fit in to the Corporate Thing. We don’t even need to where suits in my job. We are so far removed from the customer I could literally sit in here in my thong (oh – let’s not go there again) – in a Bat Man outfit and it still would not reflect badly on The Company. Let’s face it, the Board do a better job of making idiots of themselves without me joining in.
I made good progress with The Oasis redraft and rework of Bill McCarthy, but it was all I could manage due to the workload I have on. Only today and tomorrow remain to get this lot finished then it will be relative peace.
Laura is going to go to her Gran’s next Monday and Wednesday, which means I should be able to get two full writing days as God intended. I intend to make the best of them and make a significant impact into my GDR.
Hero Of The Year
I was talking to my mate Ian over e-mail today. He lives through in Glasgow with his girlfriend and two dogs and is a thoroughly nice chap. Which is why when he told me the following story I couldn’t stop laughing.
He had a run in with a local Ned (non-educated delinquent) recently, and to quote his words:
“I’m sick to the back teeth of Burberry and Neds. I just want to get a gun and shoot every single Buckie-toting skag bucket littering the pavement. I caught some junkie breaking into a car on the street last month and chased him through the park before 'restraining' him.
“When I jumped on him, he pulled out a screwdriver and threatened to stab me. But I was more mad 'cos I'd got my new jeans dirty so I just lamped him. First time I've ever hit anyone in my life. He kept saying he was – to use his own words - 'jangling fae a hit' (trans. Badly requires an intake of class ‘A’ drugs).
“Do you know the worst thing? I was chasing him and then wrestling with him at 2pm on a sunny Sunday, the park was packed, and not one person came to help. Everyone looked the other way, even when I was asking for assistance. When the Cops arrived they said I should have 'restrained' him a bit more and claimed self-defence. It goes to court next month but what's the betting he gets a fine and let off?
“Another thing that made me slightly mad was that I got radio back and the cops returned it to the woman who’s car it belonged to. She lives two doors up from me, and knows it was me who got it back, yet she's never been round to say thanks! Some folk don't deserve us super heroes...”
I had to laugh – but congratulated him at the same time.
THE FOLLOWING IMAGE,
IS A PRIVATE JOKE...
Colin 10:51 am
1 Comments:
Hmmmm. The Enigma of The False Teeth.....
